I’m not a celebrity. I don’t get to cut in the front of the line and go through the hallowed velvet rope. The average person spends approximately an hour a day waiting in line, which totals to about 2 to 3 years in a lifetime. Two to 3 years of just standing there, people waiting with you, for whatever you are waiting for! I have to admit that there are some things that are worth waiting in line for:

1. Concert tickets – Remember when you would wait in line with a couple of your buddies and a 6-pack. Making friends with the people around you before the ticket booth opened up. The interwebs changed all that with their *insert credit card name here* pre-sales. I remember waiting in line overnight once for the Metal Roses Tour (Metallica, Guns N’ Roses, & Faith No More at Giants Stadium). It was a cool experience making some new friends, but after after arriving at the ticket window bleary-eyed, the best I could get was nosebleed seats for me and my 3 friends.

2. Roller coasters – Inevitably, you’re going to be waiting in line at any amusement park to get on a ride. My record for waiting in line for a ride was at Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ. I waited in line for 3 1/2 hours to ride Kingda Ka. It wasn’t even opening day, in fact, I think it was the middle of the week when all the kids were at school…or so they should’ve been. The ride didn’t break down, it was the volume of people that wanted to wait the 3+ hours for 13 seconds of bliss.

…and then there’s the iPhone 3G S…

Some people willingly wait days to get whatever new iCandy Steve Jobs is going to unleash to the public. Some people call them “early-adopters” or “fanboys”, etc. These people are fanatical about being the first to have the new toys. Don’t get me wrong, I loathe waiting in long lines with a passion, but there’s something you can do to pass the time that makes it more interesting: People Watching! A hobby where you can make up biographies about the people around you without having to talk to them.

As I was checking my Twitter feed this morning, I was following Kevin Pereira (@kpereira & host of AOTS ) and his adventure of waiting in line for the latest iPhone. Could he be doing it so he can talk about it on the show tonight (7 PM on G4), maybe, but it’s his observations of waiting in line that cracked me up (random tweets tweeted by @kpereira on 6/19/09 at various times throughout the morning):

• Thick line of people at the Sherman Oaks Apple store. Why not. I can’t sleep these days. I’ll bite!!
• “I don’t know how this many people have jobs and can afford a phone!” Croc-sporting-line-douche.
• “We’re going ridin’ on a freeway, of love…” Mall soundtracks make me stabby. I hope this line moves fast.
• Mexican Paul Blart just told someone in line “no pictures”. I’ll snag a photo of him if he comes by again. I no longer care.
• Croc-douche CAPTURED! Achievement unlocked. Level up!!
• Dear Mall Soundtrack: You’re NOT my Venus or my FIRE! This is worse than my dad’s iPod on shuffle. Fucking kill me. Now.
• Here’s a photo of the line I wasn’t supposed to take. Digital rebellion. Take note, Iran.
• Mall Soundtrack Update: “Killing me softly”. Thanks, DJ Irony.
• Apple giving out coffee. Well played. Methinks I’ll sharpen a stir-stick and jab it into Croca-douche’s ear canal.
• I want to put my hate inside everyone’s free coffee. Is there an app for THAT?!
• Listen lady, just because you decided to keep the damn thing, doesn’t mean I should have to listen to your baby scream!
• They split us into two lines. Pre-orders and suckers like myself who just showed up. My line ain’t moving, despite having “plenty extra”.
• 20% battery warning. Place your bets: Will my phone run out of battery before I get a new one? Or before I get arrested?